{"id":20787,"date":"2012-11-08T18:07:03","date_gmt":"2012-11-08T23:07:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rbachnet.wwwmi3-ss40.a2hosted.com\/index.php\/"},"modified":"2021-08-13T17:21:09","modified_gmt":"2021-08-13T21:21:09","slug":"complainers-are-bad-for-your-brain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/complainers-are-bad-for-your-brain\/","title":{"rendered":"Complainers Are Bad for Your Brain"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/portlandplaceschool.weebly.com\/english---grammar---end-stops.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-109073 size-thumbnail\" title=\"Complainers Are Bad for Your Brain\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/question-mark_man-1.jpg?resize=59%2C75&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Complainers Are Bad for Your Brain\" width=\"59\" height=\"75\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/question-mark_man-1.jpg?resize=59%2C75&amp;ssl=1 59w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/question-mark_man-1.jpg?w=79&amp;ssl=1 79w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 59px) 100vw, 59px\" \/><\/a>Minda Zetlin recently asked in an <em><a title=\"Inc.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.inc.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Inc.<\/a><\/em> article, <a title=\"Listening to Complainers Is Bad for Your Brain\" href=\"https:\/\/www.inc.com\/minda-zetlin\/listening-to-complainers-is-bad-for-your-brain.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Listening to Complainers Is Bad for Your Brain<\/a>, Do you hate it when people complain? It turns out there&#8217;s a good reason. Trevor Blake, a serial entrepreneur and author of\u00a0<em><a title=\"Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life\" href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Three-Simple-Steps-Success-Business\/dp\/1936661713\/ref=tmm_pap_title_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life<\/a><\/em> says that listening to too much complaining is bad for your brain.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-109076\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/Brain_training.jpg?resize=100%2C85&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"100\" height=\"85\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/Brain_training.jpg?resize=75%2C64&amp;ssl=1 75w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/Brain_training.jpg?resize=150%2C127&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/Brain_training.jpg?w=450&amp;ssl=1 450w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 100px) 100vw, 100px\" \/>In the book, Mr. Blake describes how neuroscientists have learned to measure <a title=\"Electroencephalography\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Electroencephalography\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener wikipedia noreferrer\">brain activity<\/a> when faced with various stimuli, including a long gripe session. Mr. Blake writes&#8217;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify; padding-left: 30px;\"><em>The brain works more like a muscle than we thought &#8230; <\/em><em>So if you&#8217;re pinned in a corner for too long listening to someone bein<\/em><em>g negative, you&#8217;re more likely to behave that way as well.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Even worse, being exposed to too much complaining can actually make you dumb. Research shows that exposure to 30 minutes or more of negativity&#8211;including viewing such material on TV, actually peels away neurons in the brain&#8217;s hippocampus. &#8220;<em>That&#8217;s the part of your brain you need for problem-solving,<\/em>&#8221; he says. &#8220;<em>Basically, it turns your brain to mush.<\/em>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Mr. Blake explains if you&#8217;re running a company, don&#8217;t you need to hear about anything that may have gone wrong? &#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify; padding-left: 30px;\"><em><a href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20120623165723\/http:\/\/www.aboutleaders.com:80\/bid\/116413\/How-Does-the-Psychology-of-Brain-Function-Affect-Leadership-Skills\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-109078\" title=\"Train your brain\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/brain_workout.jpg?resize=83%2C100&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Train your brain\" width=\"83\" height=\"100\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/brain_workout.jpg?resize=62%2C75&amp;ssl=1 62w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/brain_workout.jpg?resize=124%2C150&amp;ssl=1 124w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/brain_workout.jpg?w=288&amp;ssl=1 288w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 83px) 100vw, 83px\" \/><\/a>There&#8217;s a big difference between bringing your attention to something that&#8217;s awry and a complaint. &#8220;Typically, people who are complaining don&#8217;t want a solution; they just want you to join in the indignity of the whole thing. You can almost hear brains clink when six people get together and start saying, &#8216;Isn&#8217;t it terrible?&#8217; This will damage your brain even if you&#8217;re just passively listening. And if you try to change their behavior, you&#8217;ll become the target of the complaint.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So, how do you defend yourself and your brain from all the negativity? Blake recommends the following tactics:<\/p>\n<h3>Brain defense tactics<\/h3>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/activerain.com\/blogsview\/1316633\/just-walk-away-renee-and-leave-your-home-behind-you-\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-109080\" title=\"Walk away\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/just_walk_away-e1571064632109-75x75.jpg?resize=91%2C90&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Walk away\" width=\"91\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/just_walk_away-e1571064632109.jpg?resize=75%2C75&amp;ssl=1 75w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/just_walk_away-e1571064632109.jpg?resize=150%2C148&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/just_walk_away-e1571064632109.jpg?w=329&amp;ssl=1 329w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 91px) 100vw, 91px\" \/><\/a>1. Get some distance\u00a0 <\/strong>You should look at complaining like smoking. a complainer is a smoker spewing out toxic fumes and you are the victim of their smoking. &#8220;The approach I&#8217;ve always taken with complaining is to think of it as the same as passive smoking.&#8221; Your brain will thank you if you get yourself away from the complainer if you can.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Ask the complainer to fix the problem <\/strong>If you can&#8217;t easily walk away, a second strategy the article recommends is to ask the complainer to fix the problem.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Try to get the person who&#8217;s complaining to take responsibility for a solution,&#8221; Blake says. &#8220;I typically respond to a complaint with, &#8216;What are you going to do about it?'&#8221; Many complainers walk away huffily at that point because he hasn&#8217;t given them what they wanted, Blake reports. But some may actually try to solve the problem.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Shields up! <\/strong>When you&#8217;re trapped listening to <a href=\"https:\/\/healthierchoices4u.blogspot.com\/2012\/08\/listening-to-complainers-is-bad-for.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-109082\" title=\"Shields up!\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/stop_complaining.jpg?resize=100%2C91&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Shields up!\" width=\"100\" height=\"91\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/stop_complaining.jpg?resize=75%2C68&amp;ssl=1 75w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/stop_complaining.jpg?resize=150%2C136&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rbach.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/stop_complaining.jpg?w=261&amp;ssl=1 261w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 100px) 100vw, 100px\" \/><\/a>a complaint, you can use mental techniques to block out the griping and save your neurons. Blake favors one used by the late Spanish golfer <a title=\"Seve Ballesteros\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Seve_Ballesteros\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener wikipedia noreferrer\">Seve Ballesteros<\/a> during a match against <a title=\"Jack Nicklaus\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Jack_Nicklaus\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener wikipedia noreferrer\">Ja<\/a><a title=\"Jack Nicklaus\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Jack_Nicklaus\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener wikipedia noreferrer\">ck Nicklaus<\/a>&#8211;a match the crowd wanted Ballesteros to lose. &#8220;<em>He was having difficulty handling the hostility of the crowd<\/em>,&#8221; Blake says. &#8220;<em>So he imagined a bell jar that no one could see descending from the sky to protect him.<\/em>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A related strategy is to mentally retreat to your imagined favorite spot, someplace you&#8217;d go if you could wave a magic wand. &#8220;<em>For me, it was a ribbon of beautiful white sugary sand that extended out in a horseshoe shape from a private island,<\/em>&#8221; Blake says. &#8220;<em>I would take myself to my private retreat while people were ranting and raving. I could smile at them and nod in all the right places and meanwhile take myself for a walk on my private beach.<\/em>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>rb-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Having worked in retail a long time ago, you learn some of these behaviors when you have to deal with the public. I practiced a combination of shields up, and let the public blather on, and then moved on as quickly as possible. It is important to develop a <a title=\"Coping (psychology)\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Coping_%28psychology%29\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener wikipedia noreferrer\">coping mechanism<\/a> because listening to complainers is bad for your brain.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em><a title=\"Ralph Bach\" href=\"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/new-resume\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Ralph Bach<\/a>\u00a0has been in IT long enough to know better and has blogged from his\u00a0<a title=\"Bach Seat\" href=\"https:\/\/rbach.net\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Bach Seat<\/a> about IT, careers, and anything else that catches his attention since 2005. You can follow him on <a class=\"broken_link\" href=\"http:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/rb48334\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer nofollow\">LinkedIn<\/a>,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/ralph.bach.14\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Facebook<\/a>,\u00a0and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/rbach48334\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Twitter<\/a>. Email the Bach Seat\u00a0<a href=\"mailto:\/\/bach.seat@gmail.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listening to too much complaining is bad for your brain. and can make you dumb. exposure to negativity will peel away neurons in the brain&#8217;s hippocampus<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[2197,1420,32,1419,1418],"class_list":["post-20787","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-business","tag-2197","tag-brain","tag-business","tag-complaint","tag-problem-solving"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20787","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20787"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20787\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":125976,"href":"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20787\/revisions\/125976"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20787"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20787"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rbach.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20787"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}